Cernunnos Morrigu (cmorrigu) wrote,
Cernunnos Morrigu
cmorrigu

  • Mood:

crashed

I suppose it wasn't clear from the previous post - Chichi isn't expected to survive the chemo.

Ankh logged on, chatted briefly. They gave Tiger to someone else. That pushed me over the edge. It's my fault, I didn't make it clear enough that I wanted them. Hurts, tho. Knew they'd call, they did. Told them I wasn't in a mood to talk. Hung up.

Went to bed, slept.

Hit rock bottom again, pure depressive state.

It figures, I had been thinking everything was okay... under control, looking good, etc. I had plans set tomorrow... the weekend.... Was feeling pretty good. Now, I just hurt.... ache.... too frazzled to do anything.

In a way, it's sort of enlightening. The impermenance of things... The life to be lived while you have it.... Realization of your own limits and how time wasted can never be returned to.

But it's really just a self-made mental hell.
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