Cernunnos Morrigu (cmorrigu) wrote,
Cernunnos Morrigu

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Total Movie rocks

I can't say it enough... I've liked them since the beginning, and they've mostly gotten better...

I just completely laughed my ass off... I couldn't breathe... I was rolling on the couch and onto the floor...

From Total Movie Issue #10 page 77

Resdent Evil
Movie: This is a great movie about Milla Jovovich's erect nipples, and it also has some kick-ass action. First, Milla's nipples wake up in a strange mansion with amnesia. Then a commando team storms the place and takes Milla's nipples to a secret underground lair call The Hive, where zombies and other monsters await, having been unleased by, I don't know, a virus or something. That's when Milla's nipples really spring into action.

Features: Widescreen, Dolby Digital 5.1, French version in full 5.1 audio, notes, trailes, Slipknot's "My Plague" music video, and Milla Jovovich's nipples. The five-that's right, five-featurettes are quite well done, offering insight into such processes as turning a real dog into a fleshless zombie with make-up (part of the problem-when they get wet, dogs shake). The insipid cast commentary, however, will even turn Milla Jovovich's nipples limp.

Bottom Line: It's a scary freaking movie. Plus, nipples.

Movie: ****
Disc: ****

That, and this month's DVD included the full version of Species...

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