October 16th, 2000


Take 2...

Insomnia is never fun... at least I'm on the trailing edge of illness instead of smack in the middle of it, but still.....

There are a heullva lotta journals at this place, I've been wasting time looking through some of them, mostly based on shared interests... It's amazing how diverse the people are that can list similar interests. I need to work on mine, I'm into so many things at various times, it's easy to forget a whole bunch at any given moment...

Especially when my brain is essentially RAM.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

I command you to rise from your grave....

*yawn* Well, I finally managed to get to sleep... Took quite awhile, but was worth it.
Already started back on the great job hunt, so hopefully I'll be signing that contingency offer today and getting some calls in tomorrow-ish.

Chichi decided last week that I need motivation and re-organization. Of course I took ill right after that, and haven't been able to progress. So today I find a note saying that "Plan B starts tomorrow 7:00am, details tonight" which only irritates me. If I had been well last week, I might have already secured something. And today I'm trying to make up for last week's loss. But instead of acknowledging my accomplishments and the fact I was unable to continue my leads last week, he wants me to do things his way. I don't think so.

So, I hope to have an appointment today to sign the contract, and from there I'll waste the day away until after 9pm. Looking at the past few day's problems with being able to sleep, if he wakes me up at 7am tomorrow, I'm not gonna be responsible for what happens.

In pleasant news, I see some of the journalists here responding to my posts and comments. That's a good feeling, being so quickly accepted into the community here.
  • Current Mood
    calm calm

On Jobs, and Why I Quit My Last One

reading sweetpea2264's comment to the previous post, I realized that I could use with some catharsis by self-justifying my situation.

I quit my previous job for several reasons. Unfortunately to see it all in context I have to go further back to the last time I was in this situation.

About 2 years ago, I had become victim of "downsizing" at the company I had just started working for. Day 2 of my employment there, I was digging my teeth into figuring out a redesign for their extranet. I didn't notice it at the time, but my immediate supervisor and the department head were both off somewhere. My supervisor shows up, kind of worried, and asks me to come to a meeting with her. I follow, and see the representative from the consulting company I was technically working for. Now, I'm not stupid, and I know there's some bad news. They start of the explanation by saying "Now, this is not about anything you did" and proceed to explain that the company decided to cut costs, and since I 'm the low person on the totem pole AND on contract, I'm victim #1. Now, consider the fact that I had just finally secured a job, was just starting to get to know my co-workers, had just put a deposit on the apartment I was supposed to move into that weekend. I was unhappy, to say the least. They do, however, grant me 2 weeks of employment, just to show they aren't cruel, heartless, corporate money-pinchers. Anyways.

So that puts me out looking for a job again. It takes about 9 months to secure one. It's 500 miles away, but I get hired. This team consisted of a close friend from college (who got me the job), his close friend, and a solid team of good, talented people lead by a master of corporate politics who still managed to keep hold of the realization that he had to take care of his team.

About 9 months go by, and despite politics and some seriously wrong events due to politics, we are still THE team. We always take care of any problems. We very rarely make mistakes. We trust and depend on each other. We're friends. Our boss keep the political waters at bay, leaving us to do what we do best. Suddenly, we're called into an impromptu meeting in which the boss says he's leaving the team for a new position in another department. We're stunned. We're pissed. We don't blame him, but we realize the shit we're in.

So this other yahoo comes in to take his place. He's incompetent. He's arrogant. He's not qualified for the position, except that at a previous company he worked under the senior manager that's currently over us. He doesn't know what he's talking about. We realize that his main concern is politics, and how best to make himself look good (it would take a lot). He doesn't care about the team except as a vehicle to get himself promoted. He doesn't care about what we do except that we should do whatever he wants to make him look good - not to worry about whether it's good for the company, but him, personally. We tell him exactly how things are done and how certain things affect others. He smiles, nods, and doesn't listen - then comes back wondering when things turn out exactly as we said.

His method of asking me to be the team member at work for the new year's response team was "Oh, by the way, you're going to be hear on new year's eve." He gives me an average review. His response when I inquired about my yearly raise was "If you're lucky, it will cover inflation."

During all this, it becomes obvious to all of us that not only is our team going to hell, but the entire departments politics is getting out of hand. Efficiency, Loyalty, Perseverance - none of these describe anyone in our department, and it's getting worse. 2 of the senior members leave the team. The rest of us inquire about being promoted into their positions. The new asshole's response is to ask each of us who should be promoted. Each of our responses is the same "Everyone." He was quite surprised at that, and started working on trying to break us apart with politics, but we didn't play ball.

Finally, I realized that this was seriously hurting me. I had gone from a dream job where I loved to come to work and welcomed the challenges of each day to barely being able to make my way in every morning, knowing that sheer hell was ahead. One of the final straws was him suddenly switching my shift from 6am-3pm to 8a-5p for no reason. Other than, I expect, so he could be hanging over my shoulder every minute I was there. Which reminds me of more. He would walk in and ask me to do something non-critical. I would agree, and continue with whatever I had been doing. 15 minutes later he comes in and asks if I had done it yet, I replied not, and kept working. Repeat. Then he comes in and says that he had done whatever it was and now I should do this other thing. Repeat every 15 minutes. So first he doesn't trust me to do the task when I have the opportunity to. Then he goes and does it himself and tried to hand it back to me. By this time I figure if he's going to do it, then let him do it, I've got more important things to do.

Anyway. A friend starts mentioning this startup in DC that he has been talking to, and wants me to join him there. I agree, and quit. Unfortunately, the startup falls through - rather, it never starts up. So that's why I'm here, looking of r a job for the past 5 months.

Now it's starting to get serious. For awhile I was enjoying the vacation, coasting as it were, sending out a resume now and then, but not really trying. Now, I realize that I need to get OUT OF HERE and back to work. I need to have structure to my day and make some money, get outta the house, meet people, etc. So I've been trying for about 2-3 weeks now to get into a job ASAP.

I hate recruiters. They're near-dropouts who managed to realize that if they could shuffle papers all day, they could make a living. I am a technical person (that's GEEK to you), and I know my business. I have hand coded HTML for 6 years now, I use CSS, Perl/CGI, Javascript, I've learned JAVA, C/C++, VB, Assembler, Pascal, Focus. I've taught people the intricacies of Win 3.1, 95, plus basic levels of VAX/VMS and Unix. Not to mention the Office apps, Photoshop, and more. I've fucking drafted using Applicon Bravo, UG, AutoCad, and Microstation. I've edited using cut benches, Video Toaster, and AvidMCXpress. I've had a computer for over 15 years. I've been building my own system for 7. I can understand how to use an application I've never seen before in 5 minutes flat. I've been in charge of installing software to 10,000 desktops to 14 locations around the nation. I've been involved in managing projects from start to finish. AND YOU FUCKING RECRUITERS TELL ME THAT I'M NOT FUCKING QUALIFIED!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MORONIC, ROCK FOR BRAINS, ASSHOLE KISSING SLUGS!?


So in any case, I'm working on a few leads this week, any of which I will take if they pan out.

Speaking of which, I need to get back to my email for responses, then off the phone line in case of calls.
  • Current Mood
    awake awake


It occurs to me, as I shotgun my resume out yet again to another dozen companies I will probably not hear from until 3 weeks later when I received a form letter in the snail mail regarding their choice of a different candidate for the position, that the current situation I'm in is just as harmful as having the previous job was. Therefore, I should devote all my energy to keeping sane and obtaining a job asap.

It also was pointed out to me that I cannot be sure I am over being ill until 7-10 days after the start. Wed will be day 7. I also realize, after attempting a couple of phone conversations, that I am stiff sufficient stuffed up so as to make my speech (normally mumbly at best) garbled beyond comprehension.

And another point is that if I use up all my past details in the first few days, I will have nothing left to write for the remainder.. until something exciting happens.

I am also reminded, looking around at the boxes of stuff that are mine still stacked haphazardly around, that I have too much crap. Part of my self-rehabilitation should include ridding myself of more of it. No more excuses.

I've got a touch of cabin fever, and it's overcast, damp, and chilly outside. Not a good combination when I'm trying to be fully well ASAP. So I sit and read in bed with mounds of blankets and sheets over me, with the windows opened a bit to let fresh air in.

And I do laundry, to rinse the aura of sickness out of my bedclothes.
  • Current Mood
    blah blah

The Talk

Well, Chichi had the discussion with me a bit earlier... He stated that in today's current job market, it was ridiculous that I was taking months to find a job. I retaliated by stating that I had wasted several months waiting for the startup to happen, then was strung along on several other prospects, one by one. I had only recently been intensifying my search. He seemed to be royally pissed at this news.

He proposed that I wake up each morning at 7:00am, get dressed, etc and spend the next 8 hours on a job search. Now, I understand this concept in theory, don't get me wrong. But, come on. I am not that kind of creature. I am much more suited to performing raids on the job sites every few nights, then dealing with the fallout. I told him flat out that this wasn't going to work for me. He wasn't pleased.

He also wants me to (heh) keep a journal of all the effort I've made each day/week, and a plan. Along with this is a series of goals, in the 1 year, 5 year, and beyond ranges. These are more good ideas in theory, which don't bear out in practice by my particular lifestyle.

Ah well. I am genuinely self-motivated to get a job ASAP. I am working towards this, and did put in a few hours today doing such. I have appointments tomorrow. I am, in fact, Working On It.

Looking over my shoulder is simply counter-productive. Either you trust me or you don't deal with me. I have integrity, drive, and self motivation. If I say I'm doing something, then I am. If I say I'm going to do something, then I will.

Anyway, on to bigger and better things. I am arranging a phone interview with someone in Japan, who missed calling last week due to illness. I'm signing paperwork tomorrow, as well as fielding at least 3 phone interviews.

And _The Diamond Age_ by Neal Stephenson is just as good a book as I remember it being.
  • Current Music
    Astral Projection - Life on Mars

A taste of "customer care"

Despite the fact I have a much larger rant I want to save for later, I can't help but mention this...

I was flown out for an interview on a certain company. They paid for the hotel room, but at check in they wanted a credit card for "incidentals" so I gave them mine. Turns out, they charged everything to that card.

So I called the credit card company today about this. After the inevitable wade through voice prompts and wait for a live person, their suggestion was "call information and get the number and deal with them directly" Gee, thanks a lot.

Hmmm, make that 2 future rants - the company that flew me out for the interview, and more on customer care that doesn't.

Oh and I realized I forgot to mention the 30-day limit that Chichi set. If I don't have a job, I'm outta here.
  • Current Music
    U2 - In A Little While