I think it's worth going on for at least a little while longer, but long term doesn't quite seem to be achieveable.
Not that I really have anything else to do today, but I don't feel like writing an epic right now... so I'll do it later. I really owe myself a long hard look into events and documenting them here.
And yes, part of it is insecurities.... and projected emotion... but there's enough basis in reality that, well... I really need to consider it all.
Supposed to go to karaoke tonight... I may or may not go, not sure yet.