Cernunnos Morrigu (cmorrigu) wrote,
Cernunnos Morrigu
cmorrigu

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ARGH

I'm awake, I have been for hours, and I shouldn't be... I don't know why I can't sleep longer, I was dead when I went to bed... I put earplugs in since Oz was watching a movie... NOTHING disturbed me, yet I couldn't get back to sleep.

anyways... This having Taz as an SO thing is wierding me out. My thought at the time I asked them to consider the topic was that we would go on dates and see what happened from there... Skipping that initial step and going straight to being an item is something I wasn't quite prepared to deal with. That, and the fact I had just given up on them completely... So I've got to somehow re-engage those thoughts I put away and look at things a little differently. I'm not really complaining, I'm just trying to piece together why it's so strange and unsettling right now. One of the things I really enjoy about Taz is the element of unpredictability... They profess to never have dated as such, and so need help figuring out this SO thing. And of course I'm so confused atm I really can't figure out where to start. I'm not complaining about the contact at all - they've always been a hugging, kissing, and touching kinda person - it's just switched locations and gained some different feeling behind it.

Really, between the stress, lack of sleep, and having a visitor this past week.... I am completely unable to put my ... everything... in order to figure enough of this to relax and enjoy it.

In other news... thurs I worked 6am-6pm, did the weekly ddr thing, then came back home and worked until 2am... I did get enough done that I'm pretty much done with the project unless they can fix the huge glaring error in the app. I woke up about 6, stayed in bed off and on until my phone rang at 9 - idiot from the project team goes "oh, I bet you were up really late, I didn't even think about it" thanks, asshole. I got up, called S about lunch, and checked email and whatnot... Sort of arranged lunch with Rodimus and Taz while waiting for S to call back with a time/place... Then Rodimus, Taz, and my team lead call - they got pulled in to work on some shit, and wanted me to go pick up chinese for 30 people... So I did. Went and the place was packed... they brought the food out, and told me to come back and pay later... delivered food... visited Taz.. got the DVDs... and then they mentioned something about 'us' which ocnfused me... then realized that they had been talking to their best friend deciding what to do - but hadn't informed me of the decision yet... So I was stunned/shocked/etc... and we were prolly a little bit friendlier than you're supposed to be at work, strictly speaking. then Oz and I headed back to Chinese to drop off the delivery crates, as well as have our own lunch. When I paid the bill, the total was over $200. That's a lot of Chinese food. Then we hit the bank to get the cashier's checks for the arcade machines, came back here to sign and print some papers, then back out to the post office to mail them. For the next few hours we just vegged and discussed dinner plans. Teppanyaki at 7 was decided, and reservations were made. Taz wanted to go home, and have me pick them up there.. but got stuck at work (so what's new?) so we went to work and got everyone arranged and over to eat. On the way out of the building, Oz called Taz my SO - and they did a sort of mini-freak. Then Oz called them my bitch, and was promptly assaulted by Taz. Hah. Dinner was interesting, with Rodimus and S, Morphine and Hunnybee, and G and J.... Really good food, great conversation, great jokes, lots of laughing and fun. Taz kept leaning into me so I could keep and arm around their shoulder and such. After dinner, we split since some had to get back to work and Taz wanted to get a new vacuum before the store closed. Target was out of them, so we went back to work to get Taz's car, and went to their place. We ended up playing GTA3 on the PS2 most of the night... we also set up their wireless lan gear.. and new office chair. Taz and I were lounging next to each other, touching and such most of the time... kissing now and then on the cheek or neck... and then, for some reason, we just switched to lips, mouth... like it was natural... strange. We were all pretty beat, so Oz and I left (although how Oz was tired after sleeping most of the day and the previous night and day is beyond me)... I check some email, put Quills on for Oz to watch, and crashed.

That's probably a screen or three full of text block, but I don't really care to break it up into more understandable chunks right now.

I'm not sure what's up for today... I may drug myself back to sleep... kick Oz out... and visit with Taz later... Karaoke is a definate possibility tonight, since Columbia or StL don't seem to appeal to me or anyone else today.
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