Rodimus offered to make the drive.
Hunnybee offered to go to dinner.
Yakumo tried to distract.
Taz came over and hugged.
I went offline before anyone else responded.
Email my boss and such to let them know I might be heading out and missing work.
I'm a bit calmer now... not that I've dealt with anything, but I relaxed a bit... hopefully enough to eat, since I feel a hunger migraine coming on - which is NOT what I need.
Got another auction item in today, the one I won first.... Was hoping for others, I'd like to have them on the trip - and give one to Dad.
What else... oh I went and got the mail, showered.... Wrapped a few things up at work just in case...
Still no word from Strawberry, I mention it only because I want to put in here that I would really like to let them know the situation, however I think it could be taken as a sympathy plea - and I really don't want it to be a tool to use in that way. And I have no way to put any energy towards that aspect of my life right now.
So.. yeah... I'll probably eat a bit and veg... and attempt sleep. I'm quite prepared to use alcohol and/or sodium naproxin to get to sleep... I know I need it.
I know there have been several others recently in this situation, and I know they know what it's like, and I'm much more aware of what it must have been like for them now. The last person I lost was my grandmother - she died while I was holding her hand. That wasn't nearly as rough then as this has been already so far now.
It's cliche, but true... Life's perspective changes in such a situation. I've reviewed many memories... and I think we're set - I mean, my father and I are on good terms and I don't see anything really left undone. There is the matter of what I feel I still owe him, but I can't really do anymore about that now than I already have. I do want the chance to have that final conversation with him, to make sure everything's ok, that everything has been said, and that we know where we stand.
The one glaring omission, I'm sure, is the fact that I have yet to marry and have children, so he is not a grandfather. But I'm sure he understands that, and while disappointed, accepts it. Although, knowing him, I may have to make a deal on his terms to ensure that.
In any case, while I'm still somewhat coherent, I am seriouly screwed up inside. I should go.