i'm not sure what i can tell you...i wasn't dealing well with the long
distance, so i distanced myself...and the more i did that the angrier i
got...until i decided that the best thing for me would be to just cut you
out completely...i know that sounds terrible, but that's how i felt. and i
thought about you all the time, but i didn't want to have anything to do
with you....but then sometimes i would have the urge to talk to you...to
hear your voice, and i wanted to make contact again, until i realized that
that probably wasn't a good idea...
and that's it.
and i decided to try and get in touch with you all of a sudden because i
think i have finally come to terms with things and i felt that i could
talk to you without it bothering me...and so that's why i looked for you...
does that explain what you were confused about?
i'm in a bit of a hurry right now, but i can write more later if you
like...i'm always late, and today is no exception...oh bother.